Today it’s full moon ..
the 10th full moon of this solar year ..

अश्विनी पूर्णिमा [ashvini purnima] ..
celebrating अश्विनी ठमास [ashvini māsam]

अश्विनी पूर्णिमा [ashvini purnima] or शरद् शरद् [sharad purnima]
is the first of the two full moons of the fall,

.. she is the first of the three full moons
revealing us the nature of our karmic mind ..
and explaining us the rules of our karmic condition ..

.. कर्म [karma] is not something concrete ..
it's a concept of the mind ...
कर्म [karma] is just happening virtually in our mind ..
कर्म [karma] is just manifesting invisibly through our deeds ..
कर्म [karma] is the result of our limit
of our knowledge and consciousness ..
of our blindness and ignorance ..
of our attachment and sufferance ..

our mind is a consequence,
.. a karmic result ..
the result of our daily moral and habit,
the result of our daily learning and practice ..
the result of our daily understanding and dubitation ..

our mind is the result of our daily self-education ..
our daily self-discipline and self-observance ..
our daily self-integrity and self-reliance ..
our daily self-guidance and self-esteem ..

our mind is the result of daily
adaptation or non-adaption
to our transcient physical nature
.. and to our deadly condition ..

our mind shows its adequacy or non-adequacy
to master our daily moods and compulsions ..
to master our daily claustrophobias and vertigoes ..
to master our daily projections and hallucinations ..

.. our eyes look, but our mind sees ..
our ears hear, but our mind listens ..
our senses talk, but our mind reads ..

.. for a living being like a human,
everything is about the quality of his mind ..

.. the mind is just a divine purpose, if it comes to peace,
or just a karmic agent, if it doesn’t come to peace ..

.. mind is caught all the time into a terrible move,
the violent move of the stream of thoughts  ..

.. the stream of thoughts comes from the tides
of an unsolved past, still present and waiting in ourselves ..

the thoughts celebrate the reminiscence of the past ..
and create the concept of time or eternity  ..
our thoughts celebrate our past sufferances,
our past pains, doubts and struggles ..

our present is constantly exposed
to the fever tides of our past ..
.. they hit our affect badly and endlessly,
by their raging moves ..
erasing radically the possibility to conceive
a unique present moment, without chill,
panic or terror ..,

.. and will build for sure a future pattern,
very similar to the past mattern ..

to get out of our karmic mind, ..
to get out of संस्कार [samskāra], ..
it’s urgent tonight to wait for a long while ..
to come in peace endlessly..
to stay totally immobile ..
.. and to remain fully silent .. 
for no purpose ..

.. because everything we dream for is already
beautifully here and now,
present and fulfilled ..
.. and my karmic mind is just trying hard
to ruin this amazing beauty,
this grateful presence, .. this thankful silence, ..
.. this wonderful peace ..

and this stillness that includes everything ..

**********

संसार [samsara] and संस्कार [samskara] mechanics of  कर्म [karma]
.. either we were born by chance,
.. and we have to find a reason to be there,
.. and a reason to disappear again ..

.. either we are born for an unknown purpose,
.. and for us to find it,
for not being the ignorant victim or the blind author ..

.. either we were born to appease a previous hunger,
to pacify a specific fear, ..
.. and to us to overcome it ..
to tame it as much as we can ....

« I am the grandchild of the blind grandmother, she is my unconscious कर्म [karma] ..

I do not know what I know ..
I do not know what saves me and loses me ..

I do not believe what I believe.
I do not believe in what believes and decreases in me ..

I do not desire what I desire
I do not desire what desires and what hates me ..

I am not what I am ..
I am not what I become and what I have been ..
I do not remember it easily.

do I know what I believe ?
do I believe in what I want ?
do I want what I am ?
am I what I know ? » ..

-- words by Kriya Deva --